This Was Never The Life I Wanted
by xXxFlameOf-TheFanxXx
Summary: Carlisle is living with the Volturi. He is surrounded by vampires who kill, and although he hates it, he has to watch. Carlisle has never wanted this life, yet he has to live it. Pre-Twilight. Written for the 'Carlisle member of the Volturi' contest.


**Hello! I'm here with a one shot, which I usually never do! It's written for the 'Carlisle member of the Volturi' one shot contest at 'The Two Sides of Twilight' forum! I never wrote about the Volturi before, so I don't know is this is good or not, so sorry if it stinks!**

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CPOV**

"Aro, is this really necessary?" I asked with the slightest hope that he would change his mind.

"Yes it is, Carlisle. You know the rules. Anyone who threatens the realization of vampire existence in this world, must have their life ended." Aro said, hands on the head of the offender before him. The vampire before him was closing his eyes, and he seemed to be trembling. He obviously didn't want his life to end, but then again, who would?

"There must be some way you could let this go, Aro. Perhaps no one has noticed his actions. He can easily be given a warning, but there is no need to take him from this world so soon." I pleaded. Aro was like a friend to me, and I thought of him as nothing less, but his ways of killing and punishment were too harsh and vile, and seeing them end a life for no good reason revolted me.

Aro turned to look at me, amusement in his eyes. "Very well, Carlisle. If you believe that this man before me has the right to live, why don't I just see for myself. Does that please you, my dear friend?"

I nodded my head, glad that I was able to at least make Aro hear the poor man's side of the story.

"Now, what is your name, sir?" Aro asked the man.

"Chris," the man whispered, trembling even more.

Aro nodded his head. "I am pleased that you are answering my questions without any problems. Now, Chris, what is it that you did?"

Chris, more out of fear than stupidity, didn't answer. He just kept his head down, his eyes closed, and his arms at his side.

"Dear one," Aro started, "I am giving you the opportunity to live, and you repay me by ignoring me? We don't need any problems, and unless you would like your life to end this very moment, I suggest you answer. _Now_."

"I ran in front of a group of humans," he finally answered.

"And how fast did you run, dear one?"

"As fast as I could go, sir."

"You see, Carlisle," Aro said, turning to face me once more. "He has done an action too dangerous. He must be destroyed. Because of him, that group of people were forced to die because they had seen too much. We didn't want to kill them, but we had no choice. You, I would imagine, being in a certain friendship with humanity, are revolted by this. Would you really like me to set this man free, while he possibly makes the lives of more humans end?"

I sighed. Aro always found a reason to end someone's life. "Aro, of course I would hate for human existence to be ended any further, but this man has learned his lesson now. We should let him go, and if in the future he disobeys the laws again, we can then end his existence."

Aro laughed. "Carlisle, I would save this man if I could, but we are the _Volturi_. Our job is to make sure that the secret of our existence is just that, a secret. I wouldn't be doing very well on my job if I let this man free, now would I?"

"Yes, but-,"

"If I may speak," Caius said, "I say we kill this man. He has no right to live, and we _must _end this threat as soon as we can. It's the safest option, Aro." Caius then turned to me. "And I don't understand why you would be against this, dear Carlisle. This man has done wrong, and you, being in favor of humans, should know that he should be brought to justice. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, but your definition of justice and my definition are completely different. Your justice is one of punishment, while mine's is one of forgiveness. I say we let this man go, and give him another chance." I argued.

"Carlisle, say no more. Your argument is only making me want to kill this man even more. We aren't a joke, Carlisle. We never will be either. There will be consequences for those who break the law, and I intend to enforce that. There are _no _second chances, Carlisle." With that, Aro quickly ripped of the man's head. He was quick to move to his arms and feet, and he ripped those of as well. Caius started a fire, and both him and Aro started throwing the remains in the raging flames.

I could only stand there and watch. I hated to see any lives being taken, yet every day, I was forced to watch just that.

"Carlisle," I heard someone say from behind me. I quickly turned around to see Marcus standing there, eyes on the fire.

"Yes?"

"I understand how upset you are, but this is what we must do. Maybe in the future, you'll see our reasoning to be logical," Marcus said.

"Maybe," I said, but I knew I would never agree with them. People didn't deserve to have their lives ended, and if there was someway I could stop this, I would do it.

"I shall go for a stroll now," I said, walking to the garden.

"Great idea, my friend. You need to clear that head of yours," Marcus said, walking towards Aro and Caius.

I slowly walked out of the room, wanting to forget everything that had just occurred. Another life had been ended, another heart, somewhere, had been broken, and another man had been brought to justice. The only problem was, it was the wrong kind of justice.

As I was walking through the halls, I saw Heidi. Behind her were about twenty people, and I was quick to remember that they would soon become dinner.

"Heidi, how are you?" I greeted her.

"Fine, Carlisle. How is your day so far?"

"It's going well. Thank you, Heidi." I said. She nodded her head and continued leading the people to the 'dinner' room. I felt bad seeing all those innocent women, children, and men having so much life in their eyes. They were all happy, excited, and enjoying life, and now, they wouldn't have the chance to live life to the fullest.

I always wondered why I had ever joined the Volturi. I never wanted to be involved in this kind of lifestyle. I had no choice though, as I had nowhere else to go. Where would I live? Who would I have that could keep me company in these endless days? Who would I be able to share my problems with?

It was those questions that stopped me from running away everytime.

"Carlisle, what are you doing?" Jane and Alec echoed, stopping in their tracks.

"I was just heading to the garden, dear ones. Where are you going?"

Alec answered. "We were just going to Heidi. We saw that she brought food for us, and frankly, we're very thirsty."

"So I see," I replied, looking at their blood red eyes.

"Carlisle, why don't you give up on saving humans and live the way us vampires are supposed to live?" Jane asked me.

I sighed. It was always this question that was directed at me. "Jane, I hate taking lives away from people. They need to experience everything they can, and I will not be taking that privelage away from them."

"You always say that, Carlisle," Alec chuckled.

"Only because it's true."

"Of course it is," Jane answered. "If you want to preserve life though, then why do you insist on killing animals instead? Aren't you taking their lives away too?"

"To me, it's better than ending a human life, Jane. You know that," I said for the millionth time.

Alec raised his eyebrows, amused. "Yes, we do know that, but I don't understand what is so great about humans. They're all insignificant, and they're weak. We don't have these extra senses for fun, Carlisle. We're this way because we have to be this way."

"This lifestyle is a choice. You can choose to live it, or you can choose to find a better way. You seem to not care about humans, but you would feel a lot better if you stopped this lifestyle of yours. You should instead feed on animals," I explained.

Jane shook her head, disspointed. "Carlisle, we have the advantage to be on top, and we're not going to just throw that away. You should be thankful for what this new life has given you, instead of avoiding it like the plague."

"I'm sorry, Jane." I said. I wasn't going to give in. They all knew that, yet they kept attempting to change my mind.

"Humans taste better," Alec declared.

I couldn't help but laugh at his statement. "They might, Alec. I don't know. Taste isn't going to make me push away my beliefs though."

Jane and Alec looked at each other, whispering words to each other that I couldn't hear. I was just going to walk away, but Jane talked before I could.

"Name one reason why we should convert to your 'animal' diets," Jane challenged.

"You'll feel better about yourself knowing that you are saving people."

"You've said that too many times before," Alec told me. "We want another reason."

I was quick to think of one. "Well, you say that you have to protect our secret, right? Won't your feeding cause suspicion at all in the near future? Surely, you can't expect to do this for long before people notice something's wrong."

"There's no need to worry about us, Carlisle." Jane chuckled. "We can handle these kinds of problems ourselves. We are the _Volturi_. We have our ways."

"Yes, well, destroying every human that gets suspicious isn't exactly a good way to handle things, Jane. Besides, to follow the laws, wouldn't you have to kill yourself if you were to make a mistake?" I questioned.

"Clever. You're always thinking ahead, aren't you, Carlisle?" Jane laughed. "There is no reason to worry though, like I said."

I sighed. "I don't mean to be rude, but I don't like your ways."

"You think our ways are revolting, correct?" Alec asked.

I did think that, but I couldn't possibly tell them that. It was their choice to be in this life, and me thinking that it was wrong was no reason to call their choice revolting. "Not at all, Alec. I just think that my way is a better alternative."

"Well, you can think that Carlisle, but we certainly won't. We're going to go with the crowd and do what we are naturally supposed to do. It's not healthy going against the law of nature, Carlisle." Alec said, grinning.

"Of course."

"Now, if you'll excuse us," Jane said, "I believe we must continue on to Heidi. We wouldn't want all the food to be gone, now would we?"

I didn't answer. I just kept looking ahead.

"Come, Jane. Let us go now," Alec said. "Carlisle, it was nice chatting with you. We shall now go feed on your 'precious' humans."

"I'll chat with you soon, dear ones." I replied. I then continued walking to the garden.

When I was there, I sat down, looking at the city of Volterra. There were kids playing, women laughing, and men talking, and my non beating heart always felt sadness when I thought that those people might soon be following Heidi inside the castle.

It was a good minute before the screaming started. I heard children crying, women pleading, and men yelling and fighting. Their attempts at escaping would be impossible though. There was no second chances for them, as Aro had said earlier. The only problem was, these people didn't _deserve _to die. They did nothing wrong, yet our horrible, vampire needs were giving the Volturi no choice but to feed on them.

I continued looking at Volterra, hoping that one day, I wouldn't feel guilty about spending my life here. Either that, or I would just have to move on, leaving the Volturi behind.

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**Please review! I want to know how I did with the Volturi!**


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